Here in Wisconsin, people drive SLOW

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/24/2015 at 18:09 • Filed to: None

I live in Wisconsin. I didn't learn to drive here though—I grew up in the DC suburbs. What makes Wisconsin unique is that we have an inordinate amount of slow-ass drivers. It doesn't make sense. People just aren't in a hurry and can't conceive that anyone else might want to get somewhere in a timely fashion.

Let's set the mood here.

When I drive in big cities, I hardly ever find myself using my horn. Drivers might be aggressive, and there might be piles of traffic, but at least everyone is trying to keep moving. But here in Madison, I've turned into a frequent horn honker because people need to get their asses moving.

How are Wisconsin drivers slow? Let me count the ways.

On highways:

Driving under the speed limit, when there's no traffic.

Going up an on-ramp at a ridiculously slow pace that makes it dangerous to merge onto the highway.

Getting in the exit lane a mile ahead of the exit and going 5 under the limit "because I'm about to exit."

Going 1 mph over the limit in the left lane and not moving over even when they get a parade of 10 cars behind them.

Driving under the speed limit on a 2-lane highway which creates a parade of cars that each wait for the opportunity to cross into the oncoming lane to pass.

On surface streets:

Driving under the speed limit, when there's no traffic.

Taking their sweet time to get moving at a green light, because there couldn't possibly be people behind them who also want to make the light.

Waiting forever to turn left, passing up on several gaps in traffic they could've easily made it through.

Stopping in the middle of a street when there's no traffic light or stop sign because they see a pedestrian on the sidewalk who looks like they might want to cross the road.

Clogging up lanes that can either be a turn lane or a go-straight lane, where they are going straight so slowly that you get don't get a chance to turn, because even though it's a right-on-red intersection, they're not turning. And of course there's no car to your left and they could've at moved over to the left when they saw your blinker.

So basically, when all this shit happens, I turn into this:

DISCUSSION (22)

itschrome > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 18:14

In their defense:

There isn't exactly any wheres in the state worth being in a hurry to get too.

They are basically Canadians

rampant lactose intake has rendered most of the state in a sort of semi conscious state of nausea.

again, where in Wisconsin are you going in such a hurry any ways? the cows will still be there in 10 min no need to hurry there in 5

chuck07 > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 18:16

Have you ever been stuck behind a taxi on any road with a speed limit over 35?

295, 495, 270. If you are behind a taxi you are in the left lane doing 45.

Textured Soy Protein > itschrome
02/24/2015 at 18:18

I'm in Madison, an actual city, where I have a job, and have to arrive on time, or make it to dinner reservations, or movie showings, or concerts, or whatever else that requires arriving at a particular time.

Hell, I have to go a whole 0.6 miles away from my house before I can even see a corn field.

Textured Soy Protein > chuck07
02/24/2015 at 18:19

I grew up right off 270 actually.

Here in Madison, the only Priuses consistently going over the speed limit are taxis.

chuck07 > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 18:24

I swear the taxis around only go 45. speed limit 25? Go 45. Speed limit 65? Go 45.

I didn't peg Wisconsin as having any priuses, but Madison is a relatively big city so that makes sense.

davedave1111 > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 18:31

Chill out, man. Most of those cost you no time worth worrying about.

"Getting in the exit lane a mile ahead of the exit and going 5 under the limit "because I'm about to exit.""

That adds a whole five seconds to your journey, or thereabouts.

Kailand09 > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 18:38

and they just don't understand traffic common courtesy at all

Übel > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 18:53

God gave you passing zones, use 'em.

Textured Soy Protein > Übel
02/24/2015 at 19:03

I would, if not for all the slow drivers clogging them up.

Textured Soy Protein > davedave1111
02/24/2015 at 19:03

KEEP MOVING DAMMIT

Übel > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 19:10

Get a faster car, it makes the gaps bigger.

davedave1111 > Textured Soy Protein
02/24/2015 at 19:32

Be the zen master. Or the mental arithmetic master, maybe. I calmed down a lot once I worked out just how little time most of the inconsiderate drivers cost me. That lets me save my ire for people like the ones you mentioned who stop me getting through lights, because that really does add noticeable time to a journey.

It really does help to work out how long you're losing, though. Stuck for ten miles behind some idiot on a single lane road doing 50 where you'd be doing 60? Well, ten miles at 60mph takes ten minutes, obviously. Ten miles at 50mph is going to take a fifth of an hour, so 12 minutes. Oh. Yeah, might as well just cruise along and relax for an extra two minutes, instead of sitting there stewing, and concentrating hard looking for some opportunity to get past. That two minutes is the maximum you'll save, even if you get past right away. If it takes you a few miles to find the opportunity, you're barely saving anything at all.

Textured Soy Protein > Übel
02/25/2015 at 00:28

The slower of my two vehicles has 330 hp.

Übel > Textured Soy Protein
02/25/2015 at 05:15

Well then quit bitching.

Viggen9er3 > Textured Soy Protein
02/25/2015 at 08:23

I agree to all of this, but in the end the person making the mistakes is not doing it personally towards anyone, so don't get to annoyed, it happens everywhere. A few extra minutes delayed is better then Road rage against said person, and endangering everyone around. Everyone's got to chill out while driving.

Textured Soy Protein > Viggen9er3
02/25/2015 at 11:08

I don't road rage on people, but I do honk at them if they're just sitting there doing nothing when they could be moving.

Textured Soy Protein > Übel
02/25/2015 at 11:09

I'm not bitching, I'm noting the undesirable behaviors of others.

Übel > Textured Soy Protein
02/25/2015 at 12:08

Well then get a brush guard and solve it like an adult.

Purgso > chuck07
03/07/2015 at 01:39

Priuses are absolutely everywhere in Madison. I've heard Madison has the second highest concentration of them in the US (first being Seattle) and I'd believe it

Two Drink Minimum > davedave1111
03/07/2015 at 06:20

Yeah, you don't lose that much time. But it's the fun I'm being denied that's the problem. Crawling over a lovely piece of pristine pavement is just not... right.

Two Drink Minimum > Textured Soy Protein
03/07/2015 at 06:29

Dude, I feel ALL of your pain. Drivers here in Vermont do so many of the same things.

Driving 3-5 mph under the speed limit despite clear roads and perfect conditions? Check. Taking ages to get going at green lights, and leaving huge gaps between cars that leave others hopelessly stranded when the light turns? Check. Refusing to reach highway speeds on the merge, forcing all sorts of needless danger and drama? Check.

The good news is Vermont I believe is the only state that allows passing on the double yellow—a product of tractors and other farm vehicles that can bedevil primary roadways around here. I don't use it often, but when I encounter a car that's pushing 10mph BELOW the speed limit, I declare that vehicle farm equipment and resolve to pass at the earliest safe opportunity.

Oh, and another neat trick Vermont drivers enjoy. When turning, many cars will flare out ahead of the turn, as if they were hauling a trailer. This makes for some precious moments, as cars unexpectedly move into your lane.

Textured Soy Protein > Two Drink Minimum
03/07/2015 at 15:27

We don't have passing on double yellow. So on back road 2 lane highways, you get stuck behind someone slow for a good long while, until there's a passing zone with no oncoming traffic.